Questionnaire de Proust à Tokyo-3

Afin de publier vite fait un nouveau billet facile à écrire pour ce blog Toujours sur la brèche et désireux de vous proposer des articles originaux, je suis allé à la sortie du Collège de Tokyo-3 afin de proposer aux élèves de répondre à notre célèbre questionnaire de Proust. M’étant présenté à l’improviste, j’ai eu du mal à me faire comprendre par les forces de sécurité accourus à la rescousse et armées jusqu’au dents j’ai naturellement expliqué le caractère strictement littéraire de ce questionnaire de Proust à la charmante et enthousiaste équipe pédagogique locale.

Le seul élève qui a daigné me répondre C’est tout-à-fait spontanément qu’un des élèves, que j’ai choisi au hasard et dont je garderai le nom confidentiel, a bien voulu répondre à mes questions.    


« Quel est le principal trait de mon caractère.
- Euh, excusez-moi, mais qui êtes-vous?

La qualité que je préfère chez un homme.
- Ah.Très bien. Pardon. Alors, euh, la gratitude.

La qualité que je préfère chez une femme.
- Rgnnmvourgard’pas.

Ce que j’apprécie le plus chez mes amis.
- Ben, qu’ils m’acceptent. Qu’ils soient mes amis, justement.

Mon principal défaut.
- Le principal? Faut que je réfléchisse… J’ai combien de temps pour répondre? Ah d’accord… Attendez… Non c’est pas celui-là… Ni celui-ci… Bon ok, alors, je dis : l’indécision. Non, euh, je peux encore changer ma réponse?

Mon occupation préférée.
- Cuisiner. Jouer ou écouter de la musique. Et faire ce qu’on me dit.

Mon rêve de bonheur.
- Etre aimé.

Quel serait mon plus grand malheur ?
- Etre blessé.

Ce que je voudrais être.
- Un héros. Quelqu’un d’autre. Tout mais pas moi.

Le pays où je désirerais vivre.
- M’est égal.

La couleur que je préfère.
- hmmm… le bleu de l’océan, le bleu des cheveux de Rei, le bleu des yeux d’Asuka, HE MAIS QU’EST-CE QUE VOUS VOULEZ ME FAIRE DIRE?

La fleur que j’aime.
- Celle que vous voulez.

L’oiseau que je préfère.
- Chépas. Le pingouin, peut-être?

Mes auteurs favoris en prose.
- Bof… Il y a bien un auteur qui s’appelle H. Anno, à qui j’aurais deux ou trois mots à dire…

Mes poètes préférés.
- Elles sont bizarres vos questions, non?

Mes compositeurs préférés.
- Ah ça je sais. Bach, Pachelbel. Et XTC. Oui, XTC, c’est un groupe pop, vous devez pas connaître.

Mes peintres favoris.
(agacé) Si je vous dis Van Gogh, vous êtes content?

Mes héros dans la fiction.
- Luke Skywalker.

Mes héroïnes favorites dans la fiction.
- …    (rougit)

Mes héros dans la vie réelle.
- Mon père. Kaji. Toji. Kensuke. Monsieur Fuyutsuki. Shigeru Aoba. Makoto Hyuga. Pen-Pen. En fait à peu près tout le monde. Sauf vous, bien sûr, faut pas exagérer.

Mes héroïnes dans la vie réelle.
- …    (re-rougit)

Mes héros dans l’histoire.
- Gandhi.

Mes héroïnes dans l’histoire.
- Florence Nightingale.

Personnages historiques que je méprise le plus.
- Moi, mais de toutes façons je ne risque pas d’entrer dans l’histoire.

Le fait militaire que j’admire le plus.
- L’opération Yashima.

La réforme que j’estime le plus.
- M’en fous, je respecte les lois qu’elles soient réformées ou non. De toutes façons elles ne sont pas écrites pour des gens comme moi.

Fautes qui m’inspirent le plus d’indulgence.
- Certaines que je peux corriger, comme être désordonné ou paresseux. En tous cas pas les miennes.

Mes noms favoris.
- Les noms de mes amis.

Ce que je déteste par-dessus tout.
- Fuir. Ce que je fais tout le temps.

Mon plat préféré
- De l’oyakodon(1), comme je le prépare.

Ma boisson préférée
- Thé.

Le don de la nature que je voudrais avoir.
- Être fort.

Comment j’aimerais mourir.
- Sans souffrance.

État présent de mon esprit.
- Résigné.

Ma devise.
- Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. Je ne dois pas fuir. »


J’ignore ce qui s’est passé, mais au cours du questionnaire, un imperceptible changement de comportement s’est opéré en mon jeune interlocuteur. Je me demande s’il n’est pas un peu dépressif. Il me faudrait un autre sujet. Tiens justement, voilà une charmante jeune personne à l’air décidé qui s’approche. Je lui tends mon micro.

(1) : Oyakodon : plat traditionnel de riz au poulet et aux œufs, dont le nom signifie à peu près « parent et enfant ».

This entry was posted in anime, archives, blabla and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

194 Responses to Questionnaire de Proust à Tokyo-3

  1. Faust says:

    Si tu veut un billet facile à écrire, je te conseille l’indémodable « first anime harem »…je vais bientôt moi aussi céder à la tentation…

    Sinon, article sympa effectivement. Et j’aurais appris qui était Florence Nightingale..même si je pige pas pourquoi Shinji la cite…

    • Mackie says:

      parce que soigner les gens, c’est une antithèse de faire la guerre, non?

      et puis parce que shinji n’a pas forcément beaucoup fait d’effort pour répondre, et qu’il donne une réponse un peu bateau. florence nightingale, c’est comme le docteur schweitzer, c’est un prototype de la « personne de bien » que l’on donne en exemple dans les écoles du monde entier. c’est ce qui m’est passé par la tête à ce moment.

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    J’ai bien ricanné à la lecture de cet article, même si je pense que Shinji aurait plutôt fuit la conversation et repondu des « hum hum » ou « pardon j’ai piscine » mais s’aurait été moins marrant ;b

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